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The Devil Wasn't No Mycologist

He’d been living on the road since before I knew him

His mother gave him a name but he never did use it

Walk the streets with a lady that shares her camp

If it don’t rain

Shoes don’t get damp


Stop him in the street and shake his arm

Brother in ideals plant a cactus in the yard

Share a beer and listen to a hand made radio

If it weren’t for his stutter

His rhymes would flow


I met the devil who lived in a wooden door

Sweating and chilled rolling on the floor

Watching television, eat the apple core

Band from South Alabam

And the electronics store


Al Gore in your mouth soaking up wisdom in your tooth

Pocahontas and Superman, searched for a clue

Gonna stay awake from Thursday to June

Pompeii only remembered in dust

Filling in your teeth begins to rust


Order a drink then number seven than eight

Play your cards right and play it straight

Make a fortune off shame and a busted lip

Spin the disc

And take a mescaline trip


You had six strings now your down to four

Guitar player but what the fuck is it for

Rusted up like a chain and like a monkey and busted down

East-bound and turned around

Flick the Bic to the home-town crowd


It’s a poetry jam in the dark and without the words

Scratching the scales of the lizard and watching the birds

Junkie shooting up but veins were clogged

So he tore them out

Fed it to the dogs


Having a bad day and left it to the Russian

Bag of Rubies hidden underneath the cushion

He pulled a gun she pulled a smile

Ten months later

Doctor pulled out a child


Boris Karloff played Frankenstein with twisted glare

Eric Blair sent up a wordsmith’s road flare

James Dean had a laugh, L. Cohen had a cry

Jesus had the stigmata

Mama had the apple pie


I wrote down your name on my arm with tattoo gun

A Redhead, a Volkswagen, an orgasm that was almost done

I pioneered the beat, and I banged on the drum

Discovered the wheel

And the guitar strum


Brave soldiers went AWOL and marched back home

Camera flash caused a crash and I bred me a clone

Cradle to the rock and rock to the stable

Wrote my memoir

They called it a fable


Played the blues with a country hick stomp

Toes started tapping and they just wouldn’t stop

Pass the jug, pass the joint and cover up the clock

Strap in your chin

And apply the lock


Washboard, blackboard, no more Supreme court

Roaches on the wall and beetles on the floor

Sold your bed, the sink, your toilet and the front door

Pull out the opiates

Silence the lion’s roar


Bugs crawl up underneath your plaid t-shirt

Not the first time you got confused for dirt

Step in to the ring and wait for Belle to flirt

Smoke in the sparks

And refuse the Church


They done gave you a stage where the bull can rage

Just like LaMotta your own life was the cage

No sense at all you’ll make with the syphilis brain

Did the thunder dance

Brought acid rain


Pick a team, some nicotine, and poison in a silver flask

Repair you PC and put on your computer mask

Turn off your eyes and reboot it from first to last

Never learned nothing

But you still went to class


They say nothing changed since the Civil War

You’re all dolled up and you just clog your pores

Guitar player but what the fuck was it for

James and the Giant Leech

Centipede and silkworm galore


Bash you television heroes and strip your malls

Chalk it up to the dictator and billiard balls

Get boozy with a floozy and write about it on the wall

In the corner of your mind

You hope she’ll call


I pioneered the beat, and I banged on the drum

Discovered the wheel and the guitar strum

If you wanna get real you gotta get it done

Get on track

And bring it back home


I pioneered the beat, and I banged on the drum

Discovered the wheel and the guitar strum

If you’re gonna learn to walk get ready to run

You got the numbers

But get your hands on a gun


I pioneered the beat, and I banged on the drum

Discovered the wheel and the guitar strum

Live your life for good ole number one

Kangaroo hop and

Chocolate melted in the sun


I pioneered the beat, and I banged on the drum

Discovered the wheel and the guitar strum

Twist your words but forget to use the pun

Smoke the herb

And forget who won


I pioneered the beat,

And I banged on the drum

Discovered the wheel

And the guitar strum

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© 2020 by a.p. duvall.
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